Years Gone, Love of Lies Ended
So many years,
so many lies,
fake love that just broke my heart.
How am I so lonely,
especially when I’m with you?
I’m sick of these games,
games that twist my heart.
I think I might just hate you.
I think I might just want to be with you.
So obsessed.
So desperate.
So lost.
Stop playing games with my heart;
the ache for you hurts.
I think I might just hate you,
or do I love you,
still now.
Something in the way we fight,
the way we depend on one another,
tells me you are just kinda crazy;
or am I crazy?
Yet I will always be waiting for your love,
love that was never given,
a love that I will always give.
I am just crazy.
That maybe,
I need you,
like god needs the devil.
A fate that should not have been taken,
a path that should never have been trodden.
Do not change your ways for me,
I am not the love that you deserve.
For I’m just someone who needs love,
to have another to lean upon,
to find my other,
another to make me happy.
Not a rag to be washed away,
Not another harness to be exploited.
For I no longer need,
want,
love,
you anymore.
Why does it feel like I can’t go on without you?
What is this dread,
this forlorn void of you not here?
These are just thoughts stemming from fear,
the fear of being alone.
For we don’t need them,
we don’t want them.
Not anymore.
The effort to change into your mold to satisfy your love,
the requests you so easily change;
I slip into a hopeless loop,
only trying again and again to conform to demands that are never satisfied.
I ask a simple question of you,
asking you to tell me the truth,
to tell me in candor about our love,
the love we shared for seven years.
Asking a simple question that should have had an easy answer,
an answer you always knew deep down was true,
yet goes unanswered.
Is this what you wanted?
A love you so easily ran away from,
a commitment you could never give,
because of the fear that you are not so perfect, too.
So you disregard the love.
The love we shared,
the life we created,
the dreams we promised,
to one another.
You run away from the one who loves you so much more than you deserve.
Easily abandoned;
am I just another to be forgotten?
A partner so easily cast aside?
A partner so devoted,
still loyal.
Was it worth it?
Yet I grieve for the life we had,
the way you lay your head on my shoulder,
the way we lay at each other’s side.
For the love we shared will not be forgotten.
I will remember the good things we had,
the cherished memories we once shared,
for you will always be my rock.
What went wrong?
What went right?
Where have you gone?
Where have we gone wrong?
I just want you to myself,
I don’t want anyone else.
Your big brown eyes could only be mine,
for I would give the world to make you mine.
With every step I take with,
or without you,
I try to capture your heart,
to show I have love only for you.
There is no place I want to be but with you.
I feel so forgotten,
I feel so far away.
The torture of the push and pull of your love,
only leaves a desire to be with another.
I can no longer be with you,
I no longer have,
love for you.
We have become past shadows,
a love easily forgotten.
For you no longer have a place
in my heart.
I love you.
Goodbye.